I’m Gonna Be a Poll Worker
Not to be confused with a pole worker.
Long have I wanted to deal with the general public in a setting that brings up my worst childhood memories. That’s right — I’m going to work in my county as a poll worker. And I’m gonna do it at a chronically underfunded public school! What a time to be alive.
I’ve done both the online and in-person training to be an election worker and I had assumed these sessions would be much like corporate meetings where I could exercise my, “looks interested” face while actually being, “asleep.” Much to my surprise — holy shit, I’m now actually, physically, responsible for our future. There are actual, many, specific, triple-checked, envelopes, iPads that take the fun out of iPads, barcodes, scanners, stickers, batteries, and so many things I have to do right in order for a vote TO EVEN BE COUNTED. Cue the hives that break out on my body when I’m under intense stress.
It would be astonishing to find someone deep enough in the bowels of bureaucracy to even begin to figure out how to “rig” this system or do anything to cast multiple votes, fake ballots, or anything that resembles what the “poll watchers” imagine is happening. Going through six hours of county training on this process makes me want to crawl inside a paper shredder. The process of casting a vote is, on one hand, accessible to all (and I mean ALL), and on…