Published in Fuck Niches·Nov 21, 2022Member-onlyI’ve Given Up Plastic, but I’ve Also Just Given UpA list of plastic products I’ve stopped using since we’re all gonna die soon anyway. HOUSEHOLD CLEANING PRODUCTS Some of the most toxic things in your home are the cleaning products under your kitchen sink. That’s why I stopped storing them under the sink and started keeping them in my…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Nov 9, 2022Member-onlyDay 4, Election Day!This Tuesday was Super… exhausting. Southern California still really likes to vote on Tuesday. We had a steady stream of voters all day. We only had two short instances where we had a line, but it was far and away the busiest day. We had a handful of new voters…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Nov 8, 2022Member-onlyDay 3 as a Poll Worker…The day I learned too much. The polls opened today and apparently, so did our personal lives. If you have a kooky coworker or neighbor and you can’t really pinpoint what their odd thing is, but your gut says, “I bet that person is into some weird stuff,” I’m here…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Nov 7, 2022Member-onlyDay 2 as a Poll Worker…“Mega-flex” is not just me bragging about the time Jennifer Aniston hugged me. Day two at our polling place felt a little more relaxed. We’d had a day to figure out how not to botch democracy by doing the procedures in the right order on the first try. …Elections3 min readElections3 min read
Nov 6, 2022Member-onlyDay 1 as a Poll Worker…The day I turned 10,000 years old. After completing a three-hour online training session, and a three-hour in-person training session, as well as being offered a variety of non-mandatory, but highly encouraged, online supporting training courses, I’ve begun my service as a county election poll worker! (Cue the half-hearted applause.)…Election 20224 min readElection 20224 min read
Oct 6, 2022Member-onlyI’m Gonna Be a Poll WorkerNot to be confused with a pole worker. Long have I wanted to deal with the general public in a setting that brings up my worst childhood memories. That’s right — I’m going to work in my county as a poll worker. And I’m gonna do it at a chronically…Elections3 min readElections3 min read
Aug 6, 2022Member-onlyL.A. at 4:00 AMThere’s no better place on Earth. If you had told 18-year-old me when I moved to Los Angeles that my favorite part about the city would be driving to work at 4:00 AM, I would have said, “Shut up, weirdo.” But I’d also be pissed off because you traveled through…Human Prompt3 min readHuman Prompt3 min read
Published in Greener Pastures Magazine·Jul 27, 2022Member-onlyA “Happy Birthday” Card to Alexandre Dumas from the Monte Cristo SandwichI’d Say “Bon Anniversaire Alexandre,” but you don’t think I ‘Count’ — Alexandre Dumas would be 220 years old today. No other literary figure has had such an upsetting culinary impact. Though Alexandre Dumas was a prolific writer who gave the world the iconic novels The Count Of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers, he never counted on the unintended, true everlasting…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in The Haven·May 9, 2022Member-onlyWater Restrictions, Carbon Emission Limits, and Bans on Composting Your Dead RoommateNew conservation efforts in California are invasive, bossy, and really bumming people out. — California has long been a pioneer in restricting carbon emissions as a way of making the state look way cooler in climate documentaries. But it appears that trying to legislate breathable air doesn’t satisfy the overbearing Golden State anymore. Starting June 1st, around 6 million Southern California residents will be…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Apr 5, 2022Member-onlyHow I’m Going To Weaponize the Secrets You Just Told MeBut only because I care. — When you told me that you were the one that steals the K-cups from the lounge, or that you shredded Barb’s cost report so you could get the VP promotion, or when you had a one-night stand with your best friend’s wife, I didn’t tell anyone. Remember? I’m a team…Work2 min readWork2 min read
